


february 14, ∞

by active_galactic_nuclei



Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Sex, Reader-Insert, but like no smut, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29451957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/active_galactic_nuclei/pseuds/active_galactic_nuclei
Summary: Joey was just a little too young to understand how he was breaking your heart, and you were just a little too young to tell him.
Relationships: Joey Jordison/Reader
Kudos: 11





	february 14, ∞

**Author's Note:**

> i finished this just in time for valentine's day! this one is a bit experimental so... tell me what you think in the comments or whatever. happy valentine's day y'all, i hope you enjoy!

_ February 14, 1998 _

_ “Hey, do you have a lighter?”  _

It had been the first time Joey had ever spoken to you, and you already knew he was special.

As you handed him the little green lighter you fished out of your pocket, you couldn’t help but notice how nice he looked, face half bathed in the soft moonlight and half washed out by the harsh fluorescent red buzz of the exit sign hanging above the doorway. He was perched next to you on the concrete steps behind the bar, still covered in a light sheen of sweat after playing. It seemed out of place in contrast to the way you could see the condensation of his breath in the air in the freezing Iowa night. You pulled out your own cigarette and Joey leaned over to cup a hand over the end and light it for you, hands hovering just a little too close to you for just a little too long afterwards. And as you inhaled the first drag from your cigarette, you found you couldn’t stop looking at him and wondering what it would be like to kiss him. 

“How’s your night going?” he asked, exhaling to let a puff of smoke curl up from his lips. 

“Same old shitty day as the rest of the year,” you replied, though your lips quirked into a smile and there was no anger in your voice as you said it. 

“You don’t have a Valentine this year?” he asked, and you suppressed a laugh. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a valentine, actually,” you confessed. Joey just laughed at that. 

And if he looked excited about your relationship status, you didn’t notice. 

_ February 14, 1999 _

_ “You know, nobody has ever done what we’re doing.” _

It had been a year since you’d met Joey and it seemed things were finally falling into place how he had wanted them to.

You had never seen him happier, and you couldn’t have been more excited for him. 

It seemed that ever since your first meeting, you had become an inseparable pair. He was your closest friend, and you told Joey everything. Everything, that is, except for the fact that you were madly and pathetically in love with him. 

“Yeah, it’ll definitely be interesting when people hear it,” you told him, grounding your mind in the here and now and not the what if’s and the stupid daydreams. 

“I fucking hate Valentine’s Day,” he complained, hearing another stupid ad coming on TV about the holiday. 

“It’s just too commercialized for me,” you agreed, though you couldn’t help but feel a little bit of sadness over it. You might not have liked the holiday, but you couldn’t be sure after never having celebrated with anyone in your life. You sighed heavily, turning to look at Joey. 

“You know, I still don’t think I’ve ever had a valentine before,” you stated, almost ashamed to admit it like it was some sort of secret. 

“Any guy would be lucky to have you,” he reassured. 

And you had to pretend like your heart didn’t do somersaults like you were twelve years old when you heard it. 

February 14, 2000

_ “I don’t want to keep playing these fucking games with you!”  _

It had been Slipknot’s first big break, and Joey’s resolve was crumbling.

He had been pacing up and down the hallway of the hotel like a caged animal for an hour, and his anger had reached a boiling point. 

“Oh, so it’s  _ my fault _ that you want to use me for my body?” you retorted, quick and dripping with condescension. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, I never used you!” he defended, face hot and flushed with anger. 

“ _ Oh _ , so us having sex was because you  _ loved  _ me or what?” you argued, raising your voice and pointing an angry finger at him as he backed away. 

“I didn’t know it  _ needed to be _ !” he yelled back, and you reeled back like he had just slapped you across the face. 

“Fuck you, Joey.  _ Fuck. You,”  _ you replied, cold and monotone as you completely shut down. You stomped out of the room and slammed the door shut behind you as you walked off to find someone else to talk to. You knocked on Jim’s door and he opened it, confused as all hell but nonetheless inviting you inside. As you explained the situation, Jim looked sympathetic and pulled you into a hug as you began to cry. 

And unbeknownst to you, Joey was crying on the other side of the wall in much the same way. 

_ February 14, 2001 _

_ “I miss what we used to have.”  _

It had been the first time Joey had ever seemed apologetic for what he’d put you through. 

You hadn’t spoken about the fight since it happened last year, neither of you adept enough at talking about feelings to traverse the subject. In fact, you’d really hardly spoken at all since it happened, a deep crack forming between the two of you in the months to follow. 

You just let out a weighted sigh and looked at him where he sat on the couch, the lounge in the recording studio suddenly feeling more like a prison.

“I think we both do, Joe,” came your reply, barely able to force the words out of you.

“I’m serious… I can’t keep doing this shit without you. I can’t fucking take it anymore, dude. I hate this shit,” he explained, and you silently knew he was talking about more than just the album they were working on. 

When he got up from the couch, fingers knotted in his hair so tight they threatened to rip out his scalp, something in you told you that you had to follow him.

And when he pulled you into the bathroom to make out with you like you were teenagers, you didn’t complain. You let him explore inside of your body, because it was easier to let him make himself whole using pieces of you than to watch him stay broken. 

And when it was over, and he was petting your hair on the floor of that dirty bathroom stall, you didn’t even cry that time. 

_ February 14, 2002 _

_ “I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.” _

It had been the first time you’d ever seen Joey cry.

You watched him, heart heavy as you saw the toll everything had taken on him. The band, the tours, the attention, and most recently, the hiatus. Joey was grappling with the idea that the band might be slipping away from his grasp and he was powerless to do anything about it. 

“It’ll all work out the way it’s meant to, you shouldn’t stress so much,” you tried to reassure him, but it didn’t seem to help. 

“Easy for you to say…” he muttered, and you weren’t sure if you were meant to be offended. 

“Joey, look at me,” you prompted, hooking your fingers underneath his chin to direct two shimmering cerulean eyes up to you, “everything happens for a reason. It’s going to be okay.”

And when he let out a shaky breath and leaned closer into your body, you felt that somehow you knew that this would work itself out.

_ February 14, 2003 _

_ “I’m so fucking sorry.” _

It had been the second time you’d ever seen Joey cry.

You were sitting on the mattress in Joey’s bedroom, holding him tight to your chest like it was the last time you’d ever see him. He was sobbing inconsolably now, spilling apologies like a fountain as he finally,  _ finally _ , seemed to realize what he’d been putting you through for all these years. 

“I forgive you,” you said. And it was those three words that finally broke him, pulling you into a kiss so feverish you were hardly able to suck in a breath. Your mouths seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces, finally working together instead of against each other. 

“I love you. I’ve  _ always  _ loved you,” he confessed, breathless and with tears still rolling down his cheeks, “I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you, since the first time we talked, fuck, babe, since  _ forever _ .”

You were crying now too, all the tears that had threatened to fall before coming down from your eyes in sparkling drops as everything finally felt right. 

“I love you too, Joey. God, I’ll love you  _ forever  _ Joey,” you told him, feeling the warmth of his lips move across your face, smothering you in kisses. 

“I want you. For real this time, I want to be with you. I can’t wait another day to start trying to make it all up to you,” he insisted, pulling away to lock eyes with you. 

“Of course I want you. I’ve wanted you all this time,” you replied, smiling despite the tears that still stung in the corners of your eyes, “hey Joey, what’s the date today?” 

“I think it’s the fourteenth…?” he answered, smiling as he tried to figure out where you were going with this. 

“Do you remember the day we met?” you asked him lightly.

“Valentine’s Day, 1998. Behind that bar in Des Moines after a show, and I asked you for a lighter. Remember it like it was yesterday. Why do you ask?” he wondered. 

“It’s exactly five years since we met then, today,” you explained, “Valentine’s Day must be lucky for us or something.”

“Well I can’t wait to spend a million more of them with you then,” he remarked, kissing you to punctuate the sentence.

And when you looked into his eyes afterwards, a million days with him didn’t seem nearly too many. 


End file.
